Candles in the Dark

Written by Antonio De Villar
Copyright ©2004

I light the candles in my dark;
I taste the incense on my skin.
Maybe this revenge is wrong—
still, I was provoked to sin.

My hands are cold and shaking;
I don't recognize the words I mutter.
I can't believe I'm doing this,
uttering things I never meant to utter.

I hold my broken heart
in somebody else's blood.
Maybe once I do this—
maybe that will be enough.

I look at your picture;
see the way your eyes once shone.
I remember why I'm doing this—
dulling them for what you did to mine.

All this folds into a mantra,
then into a wordless need.
I no longer care for justice;
I only want you to bleed.

I can't stand that you don't care;
I'll take whatever emotion I can find.
My tears have done nothing—
so I turn to potions and to rites of mind.

They said it would be easy to move on,
that this happens all the time.
But this won't be simple to get over—
this revenge will be mine.

I need some fucking closure;
I need some kind of relief.
Maybe you need some pain
to purge my killing grief.

I never wanted to hurt you—
or at least I don't think I did—
but now the knife held in my hand
is hidden where the shadows hid.

Well—now it's done.
I guess this is goodbye.
Once it's over I can say I've won;
this isn't the time to lie.
Defeat is all I wanted.

Antonio De Villar